A year ago on #BellLetsTalk 2017 I briefly shared my postpartum experience with my Facebook friends. Carol Anne reached out to me and asked if I would write something for her blog, for this blog, so other mothers who may be struggling would see that they are not alone. That was a year ago and two days ago was #BellLetsTalk 2018. Apparently I find words much easier spoken than written. I've told my story dozens of times, but to actually write it down in detail is much more intimidating. So here it goes, one year later…
My Children - Marley (age 7) and Barrett (age 5) - They are my everything. But it hasn't been an easy road.
Marley was 8 months old.
People assume postpartum disorders start right at birth but that's not always the case. I use the term disorder because depression wasn't my problem...anxiety is my adversary, and a determined one at that. And I suppose looking back I'd always struggled with it.
I had panic starting high-school. Panic starting a new job. But panic when you have to care for an 8 month old...that's a whole new ball game.
I never wanted to hurt her.