I was at a sporting event with my kids recently when I noticed a mother struggling with her toddler. This poor woman and child were squared off in a battle of the wills. From what I could gather, this mother was trying to get her 2-year-old to sit still through the entire event which, let’s face it, is something most adults can't do! This mother’s face was dripping in sweat and frustration (and a touch of embracement) as she attempted to subdue her daughter to fulfil a greater expectation that she and society had placed on them:
“You should be able to manage it all!”
I can tell you from my experience as a parent and a doula that is that is a load of bull. Nobody can do it all. Most people cannot even get half of the tasks on their daily to-do list done in 24 hours.
I learned very quickly after the birth of my twins that I needed to lower my expectations... Like really, really, really lower them!
I realized that I had to let go of some things - some more important than others, some negotiable, some non-negotiable (for my sanity):
Then, I had another stark realization - if I didn't have the time or energy for these things, what about everything else:
As birth doulas and postpartum doulas we are in many people’s homes, in the GTA, Headwater Hills, Halton Hills, Peel Region, and beyond, and we can tell you one thing with certainty:
every parent struggles with